There are so many good men in the LDS community who have a struggle with pornography addiction, also known as unwanted porn use. In almost every case this struggle has roots that go back to a formative experience in childhood. Research tells us that the average age of first exposure is around 11 years old. What often begins as an early exposure has quietly grown into something that feels really difficult - even hopeless- to control.
Here is something important to understand: This is not about being weak or lacking willpower or self discipline. It certainly isn't about lacking faith. Most men who feel stuck have tried and tried to use ideas and tools tied to willpower and spirituality. The problem is that the patterns that dictate the return to using porn were formed long before you had the tools to understand or resist them.
So.... Lasting recovery doesn't come willpower alone, or from becomming more spiritual. It comes as we begin by addressing the formative wounds you expereinced first. Building the right foundation of healing makes a massive difference. There are deep wounds and hijaked drives that we need to address before we can expect to make lasting change a reality. When healing starts at that level, the change is lasting and foundational. Real change becomes possible.
Why pornography addiction is so common for LDS Men
Being exposed to pornography between the ages of 9 and 14 hits us at stage of development where the brain is highly impressionable, and the experiences can create a powerful and lasting imprint, especially when there is really high adrenaline and dopamine released into the brain as is the case with early exposure.
In the LDS community, there often arrises a painful internal conflict. On one hand, there is a deep desire to live in alignment with faith and values. On the other, there is a pattern that feels difficult to control and confusing to understand.
Over time, this can lead to cycles of secrecy, shame, and repeated attempts to stop—often without lasting success. The more shame increases, the more the behavior tends to persist.
Understanding this pattern is not about excusing the behavior. It’s about seeing clearly what is actually happening so that real, lasting change becomes possible.
You Are Not Broken
No matter how hard you have tried, you may be struggling with a pattern of returning to using pornography despite your sincere desire to stop. That experience can create deep frustration, discouragement, and even a sense of distance from God.
But what you are facing is not evidence that you are broken. It is evidence that something meaningful happened—often early in life—that your mind and body learned from, adapted to, and carried forward.
The patterns you are dealing with were shaped in moments where you didn’t yet have the ability to fully understand what was happening or how to respond to it. What you are experiencing now is not as simple as having a defect in your character—it is a learned pattern that can be understood and changed.
When you begin to see the struggle this way, something important shifts. Instead of fighting against yourself with shame and frustration, you can begin to approach the problem with clarity, compassion, and the right kind of healing foundation.
And that is where real change begins. The healing Christ offers to those who "labor and are heavy laden" is real. We can heal and we can grow, the broken feeling is just your soul asking for help.
How Recovery Focused on LDS clients actually works
The right help for pornography addiction and betrayal trauma can be difficult—especially within the context of faith. Many men and couples are looking for someone who not only understands the struggle itself, but also understands the values, beliefs, and pressures that come with being committed to the lds standards and faith.
This work is different when it is approached from both a clinical and a faith-aware perspective. There is a need to address the psychological patterns that drive the behavior, while also honoring the spiritual importance of involving Christ in the work.
Many of the men I work with are not lacking in desire or effort. They are often deeply committed, spiritually minded individuals who have been trying for years to overcome something that feels confusing and discouraging. What they need is not more pressure, but a clearer understanding of what happened in their formative experiences and what is actually happening now and how to treat both.
In this work, the focus is on helping you make sense of your experience, reduce shame, and develop the ability to respond with greater awareness and strength. The goal is not just to stop a behavior, but to create lasting change that is aligned with both your values and your faith.
For couples, this also means creating a space where honesty, trust, and healing can begin to take root again—without minimizing the impact of what has happened or rushing the process of repair.
It's Time - Now is the day of your salvation
“...this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors.”
(Alma 34:32)Reaching out for help can feel like a big step—especially when this has been something you’ve carried quietly for a long time. It’s normal to feel hesitant, uncertain, or even unsure of where to begin.
You don’t have to have everything figured out before you start. You don’t need the perfect words, and you don’t need to be in a different place than you are right now.
The first step is simply a conversation.
In that conversation, we can begin to understand what you’ve been experiencing, what has or hasn’t worked in the past, and we can tell you about our approach to see if it feels like the right fit for you.
Our consulation phone call is free of charge and usually takes about 15 minutes. Let's talk